I have to say, Valentine’s day can make an otherwise dormant twitch reappear each year. When you are a quiet, shy, and a bit over weight young girl, that day is only a day each year that highlights the lack of affection from the opposite sex. Look, my junior high held a dance every month. Yes, I said junior high and not middle school. I am old enough that junior highs were still around and middle schools had just come on to the scene. Back to the dances, every month, I faithfully attended the dances with my best friend. Each time I was hopeful that I would be asked to dance. Each time, the evening ended in me watching my friend, and the rest of the room sway to Open Arms, by Journey.
High school got a little better, I had a date or two. I even had a couple of boyfriends. However, Valentine’s Day was still dicey. For one thing, the student council sold flowers. One could buy these flowers for a love interested or even a friend. Here it was, my chance to have a secret admirer. Thank God, for my best friend, she would send me one each year. I hid the message, hoping it looked like I got a flower from a boy. But the worst Valentine’s blow came my first boyfriend called me one night a few days before February 14th. He told me he just didn’t feel like having a girlfriend anymore. The only chance of going to the sweetheart dance all four years of high school was killed that year. I never did make it to a sweetheart dance in high school. If a dance required a date, I was not going. I nearly didn’t make it to prom, but that is another story.
So Valentine’s day can be a very sad trip down memory lane for me. I get some joy from knowing my own girls never have to feel the way I did. My oldest, happily went to school today with a heart box of candy and a lovely card for her boyfriend. And the Mini, my youngest, she went all out. She got up early, had her sister do her hair for her. She was then searching for heart earrings. She asked if I had any. I am sure I threw away my heart earrings. I don’t like to hold on to bad memories. She headed out the door with her homemade cards and juice boxes for her big party at school.
As for me, I am home sick in bed today for the second day. I don’t mind that I am sick on Valentine’s day. Hey, at least I am not sitting in biology class waiting for a love note and flower from a mystery man that never appeared. You would think Cupid’s feast day would make me bitter, not so. I had all my goodies ready way ahead of time for my family. I carefully placed them out before the sun rose so they could see them when they got up this morning. I have had plenty of days of love in the years after my youth, more than one woman can ask for in a life time. I learned not to put too much hope in to that special day each February. More importantly, I have fun making that day special for my loved ones. If only this old girl could go back to February 1985 and hug that young girl, whose heart was broken each year. I wish I could have told her that some day she would know more love than she could ever imagine. She believed no one would ever love her and she was wrong.