A Friendship Of A Life Time: How Did We Get Here?


It is hard to put into words when your best friend receives the news she has breast cancer.  I keep thinking this is just a dream. It is very surreal.  As I approach my 45th birthday, I wonder how we got to this place in life.  It seems like yesterday we were eating lunch at Smith Hall on Ohio Wesleyan University campus.  Today, I am discussing her double mastectomy. How exactly did we get from discussing the weekend’s frat party to today? I think it is called aging.

Sometimes I forget my friends and I are in our mid forties.  I feel better than I ever did in my life.  I am emotionally and physically in my prime.  Life is not drama or stress free, but I care a whole lot less about such things. I am more focused on what to be grateful for in life. The days are full of little gratitudes. I say little, because most people just skim over the things I am grateful for in life. I have learned the importance of the little stuff in life.

I did something fun with a friend the other night.  We created our gratitude lists……….with a twist.  I did his and he did mine.  So much fun to listen to someone else’s view of what I have to be grateful for at this moment.  I watched his eyes dance and light up as I pointed out all positive parts of his life.  It was a very healing little game.

In the face of my best friend having breast cancer, instead of focusing on how terrible it is, because it is terrible, I focus on the little moments of gratitude . First, there is a good chance it is in the very early stages. Second, she has a very kind and skilled surgeon to care for her. Three, we have each other to in the face of serious illness.

How did we get here? I am not sure.  We were just in college. I suppose somewhere between graduation and mini vans loaded with children we got older.  In a sobering moment, I remember our age.  People our age face new challenges. I am telling myself it is only a health challenge. It is not a health crisis.  I like to play tricks with my mind like that.  You see if it was a crisis I would panic. There is no need to panic in a challenge.  

Tonight I am focusing on a challenge.  If this was a terrible, horrible, no hope situation, well then, I would have admit we are just our age. We are far too young for such ridiculous issues like a health crisis. 

Tonight, with a tear running down my cheek, I say a pray for my girl.  I know deep in my heart we are not young like we once where. But tomorrow, damn it, it is back to business as usual.   




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