It is hard to put into words when your best friend receives the news she has breast cancer. I keep thinking this is just a dream. It is very surreal. As I approach my 45th birthday, I wonder how we got to this place in life. It seems like yesterday we were eating lunch at Smith Hall on Ohio Wesleyan University campus. Today, I am discussing her double mastectomy. How exactly did we get from discussing the weekend’s frat party to today? I think it is called aging.
Sometimes I forget my friends and I are in our mid forties. I feel better than I ever did in my life. I am emotionally and physically in my prime. Life is not drama or stress free, but I care a whole lot less about such things. I am more focused on what to be grateful for in life. The days are full of little gratitudes. I say little, because most people just skim over the things I am grateful for in life. I have learned the importance of the little stuff in life.
I did something fun with a friend the other night. We created our gratitude lists……….with a twist. I did his and he did mine. So much fun to listen to someone else’s view of what I have to be grateful for at this moment. I watched his eyes dance and light up as I pointed out all positive parts of his life. It was a very healing little game.
In the face of my best friend having breast cancer, instead of focusing on how terrible it is, because it is terrible, I focus on the little moments of gratitude . First, there is a good chance it is in the very early stages. Second, she has a very kind and skilled surgeon to care for her. Three, we have each other to in the face of serious illness.
How did we get here? I am not sure. We were just in college. I suppose somewhere between graduation and mini vans loaded with children we got older. In a sobering moment, I remember our age. People our age face new challenges. I am telling myself it is only a health challenge. It is not a health crisis. I like to play tricks with my mind like that. You see if it was a crisis I would panic. There is no need to panic in a challenge.
Tonight I am focusing on a challenge. If this was a terrible, horrible, no hope situation, well then, I would have admit we are just our age. We are far too young for such ridiculous issues like a health crisis.
Tonight, with a tear running down my cheek, I say a pray for my girl. I know deep in my heart we are not young like we once where. But tomorrow, damn it, it is back to business as usual.