I have always loved the word fearless. It is what I always wished I could be in life. It seemed like I was always the opposite. Being full of worry, doubt, and panic was a way of life for me. To be fearless sounded awesome. Then it hit me, I have become fearless. Fearless is simply choosing love.
When it comes to emotions there are only two in the universe, fear or love. All emotions, behaviors, and actions stem from these two principles. We make it complicated by have a million terms to describe each of them. Fear leaves you in misery. Love leaves you in peace. There is a kind of love that is the ultimate in fearless. I was blessed to receive it.
When describing a soul connection relationship, it becomes difficult for others to understand the dynamics. As I have shared before, I can not even understand them myself. The connection is so bizarre the partners do unheard of acts of kindness for the other. As I wallowed in my pain for days, trying to wrap my head around the separation I learned of an act of kindness that is astounding fearless.
Smuggly, I held the belief I was the one acting in the ultimate unconditional love. After all I had committed all the selfless acts of love, so I thought toward my love. The reason for the separation is one of freedom. A freedom to explore what life may bring, to be open to what God has planned. Certain circumstances in my loves life had unfold to require this freedom. We knew this from months before. I had, without much grace, agreed to this need to search beyond our relationship. What I didn’t know is my love, had placed my needs far above his own for an extended period of time. Fearlessly, setting aside his needs so I could be emotionally safe, he denied himself what his soul needs. You see I had no idea he was doing this. I had thought I agreed to his request so I figured he was going about his business. He feels so strongly about never deceivimg me or causing me pain he did not act on what he knew would hurt me. As I wallowed in my own pain, I came to learn I had received the greatest gift of love. Someone had placed my well being far above his or her own. Ironically, before I learned of what my love had done, I, too, had offered a great act of love. Without fuss or fight, I released him, from us, gracefully, to walk his path. This was my first true act of being fearless.
I know in my heart he must leave me for a bit to know what can be. One can never hold a bird tightly in the one’s hand. The bird must always have the ability to fly. The bird may return or not, it is never known, however the moments in which one holds the bird are extraordinary.
As of today we are amazing friends. We are helping each other through this most difficult time. We are searching for a way he can fly while creating a new chapter for us. The future is unclear. We have no idea what either of will find walking separate paths. We may go in different directions forever. We may go different directions and merge our paths together again. Time is what will tell the rest of the story. All that is clear is we share an extraordinary love that refuses to allow either to let the other walk any path alone.