To the angel that taught me this concept, you gave me the greatest gift of life. Without it today, I would be a lost soul in darkness.
There is nothing more frustrating in life than to not understand the path in front of you. I am not sure if I was taught that or it is innate, but, I like a plan. It does not have to be a plan written in stone, but I like an outline of what I might like to see happen.
I learned when I was a teacher that plans were never written in stone and how to react in a moments notice to regroup and redirect. I am very comfortable altering a plan. I feel the best outcomes are having a plan and being able to just roll with it when the plan is not working. Frankly, it got to the point that I would just jot down a rough idea of what was going to happen in a class period then let it unfold. I always had the ideas focused on a end goal, but how I got there seemed irrelevant. As long as my students were achieving success, I didn’t much care about strict lesson plans. I would say I transferred that philosophy over into parenting as well. We have some goals set, a rough plan and we just let it happen.
Now, here comes my battle. It is an internal battle. What happens when the plan falls totally apart? What happens when you think you understand your path in life and it all of a sudden changes. It feels like being lost. I am talking about knowing in your heart the end of the story still feels like your soul’s mission, yet, right now, in this moment, the path is unclear. When your control of even just regrouping and redirecting is not an option how do you cope. I have found myself in that place a lot in my life recently. The plan just doesn’t even exist anymore. Well, at least, it feels like the plan doesn’t exist. There is a plan. It’s a great plan. It is a plan that I could never even imagine for myself.
Frankly, it is a great blessing that God does not let me handle all the planning. He creates a life far better for me than I could ever imagine. Much like the lesson plans I use to create for my students, when allowed to unfold, it is better than I could ever imagine. However, when the vision becomes really unclear fear takes over. It is natural to feel afraid when you feel lost. It is at this time, I really, really have to ask for guidance from above. I am not highly religious, but I am very spiritual. I certainly believe every thing happens for a reason in life. I knew this since I was a small child. My problem is trusting that a higher power is in control and I will be ok. I will be better than ok.
So what I do in the dark scary night, when the demons of your mind like to play, is pray. The best way to start is beginning finding things that are right in my life. I really have more blessings than hardship. The next step is ask for help. Pray for an outcome you would like to see. I like to keep my intentions focused on prayers for healing for others and myself. I understand that if I am in a painful situation that there is healing needed for me and likely, other people. So I pray that I get the guidance for the next best step. I pray that the other souls involved receive healing and peace. Then, and this huge, I ask for the ability to forgive any hurts I have received. Once, I forgive I can heal. Lastly, I turn it all over to God knowing I am powerless over my life. I can only ask for the signs to know how to make the highest spiritual choices that are aligned with His plan. In the end, you see, God is in charge. His plan happens in divine timing not on my timeline.
I will not lie and say it is not hard sometimes to find the blessings in a very hurtful event. There is always, always, always, something positive to be grateful for in even the most horrible situations. If you can find the positive, you can find peace then healing can take place. Once you start to heal then more can be reveal as to where the path is going.