Love Should Not Hurt This Much…………the words a friend shared with me today. I quietly ponder that statement. It is true we all think that love hurts. I mean after all we suffer the pain of broken hearts. Who has not felt the torture of loving another without shedding a tear? As a collective, we believe love hurts.
The truth is love does not hurt. Love is pure joy. If you are in a moment of love there is no pain. So where does the love hurt belief come from in life? The answer is fear. The fact that love feels so amazing leads us to a state of panic of the lost of that love. Now losing love is real! The irony is we can become so afraid of losing love that we actually drive our fear to destroy the very love we so desire.
I am involved in the greatest love experience of my life. I can honestly say every challenge between us is fear driven. I can say with full confidence between the two of us we may have experienced every fear people can have while being in love. The list is endless. The fears are real, in our own minds. Every last one of the fears is rooted in losing that love or the pain that comes with the lost of it. The very love we so desire, so cherish and so want to experience together is riddled with being afraid of living without it.
So the answer should be easy, just simply focus on the love. That is exactly the right medicine for this situation. The greatest catch in all of this is to remember that. Those nasty fears seem to surface time and time again. Each time the only answer is give more love to the situation. One can not reason with fear. It is not rooted in common sense or logic. The only way to stomp out a fear is with love.
I have found there are different way to use love to calm the beast. At times, I must simply hold a loving thought while allowing fear to pass. Other times, I must express loving and positive thoughts between us while fear surfaces. In times of great need, when we are becoming paralized in being afraid, one of us seems to be blessed with a moment of love that calms the situation.
Apparently, I am still very new at this love thing, in its purest sense, because the lesson returns over and over again. I would not say I am failing at it for each time I learn something new. I am just saying I have not mastered it either. My greatest question is will mastery come to me? Can I learn how to over come my fear of losing love in order to experience love? This might all sound crazy. I surely would have thought it was insane to write this before I actually lived it day in and day out. Each argument, each moment of wondering what the future holds, each day the only answer is to focus on loving that other soul.
The fear is generated somewhere. The generator of the fear is ego. The ego is a nasty monster. On the surface if appears that ego is a protector, after all love hurts. The truth is fear hurts. The ego wants control of love. This is where it gets really interesting. Love can never be controlled. Love is freedom! The ego wants to harness love so it says control that so you will not get hurt. It is all a lie. The misery of love comes from a desire to control love. The irony is the only way to fight the ego is with more love.
By some miracle of the universe, God or whatever higher power there is, my soul is connected to another soul that is learning how to do this. Thank God there is divine intervention, otherwise our egos would destroy the gift we share. I do not claim any gift or wisdom in this situations. Truly, I am a vessel to learn right now. If left to my own ego choices I would have completely destroyed this in a blink of an eye.
Love should not hurt this much is a very true statement. When you have two extraordinarily connected souls paired with over powering egos fear hurts. Every day God gives us one more miracle. We get one more chance at love. He quiets that brash ego with only a love He can inspire. I am not sure I will ever become a master, but I certainly know I am a bit more advanced than yesterday.